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ilivesweat:

(Photo by Eleni Vradis)

Growing up as a white man in the punk scene, sexism is something that I had initially never thought about. There was nothing more fun to me than hanging out with a bunch of friends, going to a show, seeing a bunch of bands play (generally all men), running around in a mosh pit, and just letting loose. I grew up with my sister as my best friend, a radical feminist, organizer/activist, anarchist, and continual I’m-going-to-push-the-limits-and-challenge-you type person. I remember coming back from shows all the way back in high school, and having a very different interpretation of what happened than she did, and getting pretty defensive when she critiqued one of my favorite bands, or the crowds that they associated with. After these arguments I would always feel horrible, realizing that this type of behavior did not make her feel safe, nor did it make the majority of women feel safe. At first I had always thought that this was her interpretation, and that she was over analyzing the situation, until I realized that it truly is the overall common understanding of the majority of women.

Once I got more into thinking about and understanding my privileges as a white man (which is a never ending road), I became more and more aware of the ‘silent sexisms’ that are so apparent in the punk scene, that I hadn’t noticed in my younger years; The whole culture of moshing, hyper-masculinity at shows, men being homoerotic, men not taking women musicians seriously, standing in the front when you are clearly larger than other people that cannot see the show, etc. The best way I’ve learned to check myself is to ask the question, “How much space am I taking up?” If there are a bunch of men continually speaking, interrupting, conducting themselves in a loud, masculine way, and not making room for women, the space is not safe and women generally do not feel comfortable. 

How to be an ally to women in the punk scene: I’ve put together a list of questions to think about in order to better understand how to be an ally to women. These questions are by no means original and have been created by women in (and outside of) the punk scene and have been echoed in feminist circles for a long time.

1. How present are the men at this show?
2. How many female-identified musicians are in the bands that are playing tonight? (This contributes to how much space is being taken up by men and how inclusive the show is.)
3. Am I in a band with all men? Why is that the case? (Did it just happen to be that I was good friends with a bunch of male-identified musicians? Is it because the scene that I’m part of is dominated by men and in my close circle there are many more men that play music than women that do?)
4. When women are around, do my male-identified friends talk about women differently?
5. Do any of my friends use offensive language? If so, how should I tell them that I don’t think they should speak that way?
6. Do I take leadership from women who have directly experienced sexism from men in the punk scene?
7. Do I take leadership from queer-identified women who have experienced both sexism and heterosexism in the punk scene? 
8. Do I assume heterosexuality in the women that I talk to?

Now to all the straight white men out there, please understand that this is not about censorship or being “PC”. It’s about not saying hurtful words that could potentially be triggering to people. Saying words like “bitch” or “faggot” is problematic because it makes many people feel unsafe and uncomfortable. A lot of people have been called hurtful things at times when they’ve been beaten up for being gay, or sexually assaulted, and hearing these words over and over again can trigger memories that people don’t want to think of. Not acknowledging that the words you’re saying are hurtful, and just saying the person is being “PC” is silencing the voice of the person that you are offending. If you don’t care that you’re being hurtful, making people feel uncomfortable, or silencing people, then you are just being disrespectful and inconsiderate. We can’t have the typical straight white man-punk preaching about how he should be able to say whatever he wants without acknowledging the privilege that he’s sitting on. We should realize that it’s not about censoring our language, but working on and eliminating the thought process that would lead us to say sexist or fucked up things. 

We should ask ourselves the question, “Why are we doing this ourselves? What is the point of this DIY counter-culture?” People are obviously drawn to punk music for different reasons but much of us become interested at a young age because it offers an alternative to the mainstream (or from a radical perspective, an alternative to capitalism).It’s unfortunate that, in many instances, the punk scene perpetuates the same ideas that the patriarchal, racist, and homophobic mainstream culture does. 

I am not trying to claim that I am an expert on sexism in any way. The real experts on sexism are our mothers and sisters that experience it every day. Men that are allies to women need to be open to, and listen to, what makes them uncomfortable and should be ready for some difficult conversations. Challenging and changing our preconditions is a lot of work, and can be very hard. I’m not saying we all need to have a grandiose vision of dismantling the entire institution of patriarchy (which should be the ultimate goal, but is extremely overwhelming), but we can at least choose to begin to create a society without sexism. If we can just be open to honest critiques of our scene, behaviors, language, mannerisms, etc. we can begin to change and create new ways of inclusion.

I remember seeing Ashanti Alston, an anarchist Black Panther and former political prisoner, speak at this year’s NYC Anarchist Book Fair and he said something along the lines of “I would have rather done a bank expropriation than challenge my inner sexisms.” Obviously this was a joke but was meant to bring light to how hard it can be to challenge yourself and the deeply ingrained conditioning that we all have. We can start by looking around at the shows, and bands, that we support and see how many women are present. If you’re a man that plays in a band, try to be conscious of not playing shows where all the bands are composed of all men. Try to offer more support to the women in the scene by asking them how you can be more supportive. If we all just take it one step at a time, starting with letting our guard down and truly hearing the voices of women and their experiences, we can get closer and closer to the world that we want to see.

Disclaimer: I tried to stay focused on the specific topic of sexism but under the realization that these same models need to be thought about and applied to racism, heterosexism, transphobia, classism, ageism (and other –isms) as well. If we want an inclusive scene that will feel welcome people of color (for example) we need to have these same conversations with people of color that are in the punk scene AND outside of the punk scene itself. I’ve realized over the years of organizing shows, benefits, and attempting to build radical community through music, that there needs to be a sort of abolishing of genre to include different types of music and different people with different backgrounds. I haven’t yet figured out the best approach or answer to the limitations of the punk scene, but that is an entirely different discussion that is extremely, extremely important. I think the more we ask ourselves challenging questions, the closer we are to changing ourselves, and creating the inclusive scene that we all should strive for.

Adam Obernauer plays guitar and sings for indie/punk band Born in a Cent, books shows and lives at the queer/feminist show space the Manifesta Loft in Brooklyn, and is an activist/organizer with the Community/Farmworker Alliance.

(via yesysabella)